My love

Oh, where could you be?
Six feet under and waiting for me.

My heart, my soul,
Please breath for me.
The sickness dwells
in you and in me.

Take away my pain,
Please show no shame~
I will love you forever,
And never ever say 'never'.
You are perfect for me,
we think the same way you see.

The way we see things eye to eye,
The loneliness that hides inside.
Sing a song to drowned the pain,
And drink enough beer,
to forget the shame,
of a long lost love.

But no wait!
He's still here~
You keep him here with your knife,
Hands up and bound,
No way he'll fight.

The drug is wearing thin,
and your thoughts are caving in.
Wait until the sunrise.
He'll be sure to die~

Plague Of Despair

I’m drowning in this pouring rain which chokes me
Bringing dark clouds upon my sanity

A chill that breaks my bones and steals my soul
Where is the smallest of light to penetrate me
To lift this doom, gloom and boom

Electricity like a lightning bolt  
Tearing through my brain with pain
Shocking me and shocking me 
I feel I could be reaching insanity

Dark shadows are following me
Mocking me everywhere I turn 
Do they want me in an early grave?
To torment me more for all eternity
With unlimited uncertainty 

The irrational mistrusting voice codes I hear
Disturbs the chance for peace of mind
Believing all the things it tells me
Becoming my one and true reality

devils payment

My dear

I fear

The time has come

For you to make a payment

After all

We have an agreement

I give you what you desire

Yet you ask for more

And what do I get?

Your word

That you'll pay up

Say I can trust you

Wish I could, really

But, If memory

Serves me right

You had till tonight

To give me my payment

One way, or the other

I will get what I came for

Whether its your soul

Or another

Makes no difference to me

But, you see

I'm on a tight schedule

So let's make this quick

Oh, stop with the begging!

You're making me sick!

Enough of this bullshit

You're coming with me

To the depths of hell

For all eternity

Didn't I tell you?

Fame...

Comes at a price

And it's time

in this life

A haunting ghost, 
this daze I find myself in, 
a lifeless hypnotic hollow state, 
this host that bears a faceless reflection within. 

Drawn to shadows, 
the mindlessly catatonic dead yet living, 
this dreaded manic life, 
like the living with the dead infected. 

Here beneath the melancolic voice,
of my sadistic semantic reasoning, 
I find unable to define the madness, 
sound of deafening silence screaming. 

Frozen inside a dead like state, 
trying to shout but stifled.
How voiceless seems my words,
unspoken my thoughts remain embedded. 

Yet unwritten my poems, 
expressions of me 
in a symphonic calygraphy of tears and blood 
mixed with ink. 
Missing pieces of what I used to be.

inner demon

He lurks inside me

Grinning wide

Haunting a place that has never seen light

Lurking in my dreams

Haunting my sleep

Never leaving, but never to keep.

His putrid breath

flits across my face

"Kill them all and you'll be free"

He'd said.

So I took a knife

The deed is done

But he won't leave me.

I can never run.

Insanity my release,

Everything I hate

pulling away my consciousness in my dream-like state

My eyes are dead

An echo of my soul

My mind losing count of the death toll

Heart racing, 

I cannot stop

living is pointless

blood and tears

You bring the blade onto the cold surface of your skin

Drag it across

Just one more cut

Blood slowly dripping

drips off your arm and onto the floor

You start to cry

tears distorting your vision

screaming on the inside

Why wont it end

The pain hasn't gone

Another cut should do it

Why wont the pain leave

Maybe the only way to end then pain

is to end me.

midnight blood

I feel like nothing
As though I am
Darkness incarnate
Wishing pain on those who hurt me
People think I'm kind
Only to find that is an act
To find that it is hatred in disguise
They thought I had a soul
They thought I was nice
In truth I lost my soul long ago
Along with my passion and empathy
Once they knew they left
Fearing what I could do
For I am unknown
And the unknown is dangerous
For the multiple outcomes
Can be either good or bad
They see me as bad
Never will they see me as good again
And so I accept my fate
Of loneliness and sorrow
Of pain and hatred
For that is all I will ever feel
In this unknown world of mine own

midnight hour

This time that's now, this midnight hour
Hiding those who creep and lour
Inside your mind, they're in your head
Sneakily slithering towards your bed

Mark the time and feel what's present
In the black below the lifeless crescent
Dire is the darkness as they slyly slink
Not close yet, but nearer than you think
In disturbing dreams do you soundly sleep?
Gnashing teeth ward off those who creep
Hideous creatures who skulk and lour
Take their advantage in this midnight hour

Heinous Harpies with sharpened claws
Outside your head, but inside your doors
Unconscious dreamer can you feel them sink
Rapacious fangs into you, the gink?

lost in life

A haunting ghost,
this daze I find myself in,
a lifeless hypnotic hollow state,
this host that bears a faceless reflection within.

Drawn to shadows,
the mindlessly catatonic dead yet living,
this dreaded manic life,
like the living with the dead infected.

Here beneath the melancolic voice,
of my sadistic semantic reasoning,
I find unable to define the madness,
sound of deafening silence screaming.

Frozen inside a dead like state,
trying to shout but stifled.
How voiceless seems my words,
unspoken my thoughts remain embedded.

Yet unwritten my poems,
expressions of me
in a symphonic calygraphy of tears and blood
mixed with ink.
Missing pieces of what I used to be

remains

Sometimes at night I lie awake
Unable to sleep.
The darkness seeps into the cracks of my mind;
Infesting it with thoughts and questions of myself.

I question my sanity
As I lay there in the dark alone with my fears.
Am I insane that I see and hear demons
who really don't exist?
Are the fears I have much too quaint?

These are the thoughts
That crawl through my mind.
But still there is more
Questioning my sanity.
Am I really all that they say I am?
Who am I really?

I look at the reflection poised in the mirror.
I stare deep into the eyes of the person
absorbed in the mirror.
What I see there in my soul
Does not make my fears cease at all.

What I see is a broken down guy
afraid of how the world judges him.
I see it there etched into his being.
So he locks his soul away
Keeping himself sheltered.

he keeps himself sheltered
From a hopeless dream of perfection.
So that his soul shall never shatter
Again and be left with nothing.

I see a person who cares greatly
About the surrounding world.
The kindness is entwined to
His being.
The love burns throughout
All that he is.

I can see he would do everything
It takes to make his loved ones happy.
Even if it withers away his soul,
he doesn't pay no mind.

I know he sits there each day
Not caring that
His soul is slowly withering into dust.
Or that the remaining ashes
Of his withering soul
Are fading away into the wind.

Each day he lies there
Unable to sleep,
Afraid of what may become of him.
Faking a pretty smile to get by each day.
he holds on to his love and kindness
That still remains within
His heart and soul.

visit my grave

Angel, fallan, cast down,
forgotten, burning, crashing to the ground. 
Such is what I've felt, what I see. 
With regret in my heart, 
here beside my own grave i sit 
where i lie deceased.

In the coffin,
figure decomposing and black, 
this figure is me. 
Body covered in metaphoric bruises,
lesions and scars that still bleed. 
Wounds from the past, 
from pain, rejection, and deceit, 
my end six feet deep. 

A lament, a tragedy,
an outcast with a broken life, 
finally he gave in. 
With tears in my eyes, 
and cold chills down my spine, 
on my grave this was the inscription i read. 

Upon waking from this cold reality, 
this frantic dream, 
i realize i'm still alive and free. 
I'm tired of not being who I want to be,
of backing down, 
I've made up my mind, 
I won't give in, 
I won't be the victim, 
and most of all 
I won't accept defeat

Phantom

To you lies are like phantoms, you can see right through
To me the colors you wear are wondrous yet translucent, who knew?
You are the closest it comes to rainbows at night
Is it a lie to say your multitude of colors are a mask for your paranoia,
secrecy and past sufferings brought to a blinding light?

If I were to show you my true colors, you would see a world of grey
For you, I am ready to evolve, this day
Thus we are in two different dimensions unable to speak
We must break down the walls of our dimensions, with frozen tears I try,
but its bleak.

Separating us, a fog filled chasm
A solitary raven crows in the distant church tower, long abandoned save
for the cytoplasm
The fog poisons my mind, makes me envious and bitter without choice
My ears bleed to hear your voice.

Water in the desolate stream waxes cold like needles to the touch,
sulfurous

is the air of the night
Your unique beauty and countenance is magnified by the moon and starlight
Aquarius and Pisces are next to each other for eternity like Romeo and Juliet
Just like the water carrier and the two fish, why cant we be together
and avoid this regret?

I dream of you playing piano in the dark
Even one hair has a shadow, every part of you leaves it's mark
You live your life by lyrics, there are no words to this music, to this art
Just the melancholy melody of  longing stabbing at my heart.

An insidious mountain of creative pictures, you are painfully perfect,
pretty and talented, the enigma
In hell it is said, flatterers are plunged in excrement covered
in their own shit, their stigma
Am I just a flatterer? For confounding is your mystique,
but I think the truth I do tell
Dante had visions of hell, I envision never seeing you again,

is that not more condemning than hell?

final attraction

The trickle of blood can be so intriguing.
Just as bullets can enchant a weakened mind.
They can pull at the heartstrings or create butterflies in your stomach.
Even scramble your mind, preventing you from speaking.

To a weak mind, even the simplest of ropes can look so comforting.
Your stomach drops as you feel like your falling through space.
You stand so high and in an instant your feet are almost on the floor.
And you look down to see your thoughts leave you and your floating through darkness.

Many find the view a top a building or cliff to be picturesque.
They stand and spread their arms, breathing in deeply, ready to take just one step.
That’s all it takes and they are soaring, gliding down towards the ground.
As they lay their head down, the coolness of the pavement contrasts with the warmth of their blood.

But my favorite, the one that appeals to my state of mind, my state of panicked and fragile mind.
The sleek, cool, shiny piece of silver metal.
The one that can be held in the palm of your hand and it brings rubies from your skin and with it happiness.
It numbs your senses, and the pretty face that others have grown fond of is drained of colour.
It goes white and pale before finally, all that is left is a smile.
A smile because you feel you have done the world a lot of good in your act.

Because it does my heart a world of good, to see my own body in a box of wood.

only thing missing

...I am just a sad soul in the dark world,
sorrow and pain - my only companions...

...Dark words, burning tears of my pain,
comforting me in my sorrowful journey...

...Only one thing missing, final oblivion,
sweet death, in your icy arms I wish to sojourn...

just alone

Darkness crawling inside my mind,
eating memories, rendering me blind,
all gone, memories, nothing can I find...

Carved empty inside, pain veiling my sorrow,
sorrow veiling my pain, I am feeling so hollow...

Sea of tears, drowning all, life is just a loan...

my debt

Grasp of death, fill me with the cold,
inside me, something crying,
pretty thing, torn wings, wounds deep,
what keeps me alive, tears of love, tears of sorrow...

I am told, no more will I grow old,
inside me, something dying,
In my heart, wounded, angel weep,
in my death, for dying angel, I owe...

fate of my dreams

In my mind, in darkest corner, there's graveyard,
filled with desires, a dark land, raped, scarred...

In my thoughts, hidden, necropolis of dreams,
filled with dead hopes, echoing, ghostly screams...

In my death, I take it all, cemetary of my soul,
filled with darkness, in burial ground, whole...

my eyes

I stare to the madness, I see just my pain,
it staring me back, drowning me in the sadness...

My tears flow, blinding me, just for vain,
for no reason, my mind falling to the emptiness...

I stare in the mirror, once again,
I see my eyes, I see mirrors of madness...

shelter

Without you, 
everyone can hurt me,
cheat me to have a faith,
fool me to believe in the lies,
abuse my trust...

You keep me safe,
hide from all this madness,
you are everything,
you are,
loneliness...

Copyright © all rights reserved May 2014

Reflections

Pond, lonely moonlight reflecting from it,
I look how the wind is altering the surface...

Figures of moonlight shiveringly playing in the pond,
glittering, modifying, multiplying, imitating life...

Group of reflections in the surface,
raging wildly, spinning and swinging...

One lonely spot of light, far away from others,
quivering forgottenly, slowly dying away...

meant for others

Joy, it's just meant for others,
there's no joy in life, only sadness,
world full of depression and pain...

Love, it's just meant for others,
there's no love in life, only sorrow,
world full of darkness and tears...

Hope, it's just meant for others,
there's no hope in life, only pain,
world full of sorrow and despair...

Smile, it's just meant for others,
there's no smile for me, only anger,
world full of sadness and hatred...

World, it's just meant for others,
there's no world for me, only isolation,
place full of fear and frustration...

Reason, it's just meant for others,
there's no reason for me, only oblivion,
death that brings redemption and relief...

Life, it's just meant for others,
there's no life for me, only death,
just to die, fade away, like I would never been...

Some sins

Birth was my first sin, be here,
to cry, with my scream silence tear...

Life was my second sin, just live,
mock this world, my opinions give...

Love was my third sin, to care,
just worship her, how did I dare...

Questioning was my fourth sin, raise doubt,
my mind use, see no reasons when look out...

Rebellion was my fifth sin, my own rules make,
refuse to obey, not orders from others to take...

Arrogance is my sixth sin, to my own sins list,
to think I know, believe my own sins see in life's mist...

I will still have many sins, my own pride I will fall,
I will regret most, hope redemption before death call...

Death will be my last sin, to surrender and die,
just release my life, to darkness and oblivion fly.

unreal

You held my hand so tight
We watched the stars all night
But still I realize
There's something in your eyes.

The way you say you love me
And that we are meant to be
Is killing every piece of me
If you could only see.

There's no doubt you really care
But it's your heart you can never share
And though you tried your best to love me
It's just not meant to be and so I set you free.

It's hard for me to let go
But it's the only way I know
To spare you from suffering
And to save my heart from dying.

It's true you want my happiness
But it's time to be honest
And as much as it hurts I'm going to say it now
It's time for us to part

Still I thank you for everything
And it's your love I'll forever be missing
And now that I have to go
Remember what we had was never a show.

I love you dear and so I fear
You'll be miserable if I am near
So take this chance and explore the world
Let your heart be your sword!

Goodbye my love and be happy
I'll be fine you have nothing to worry
Take her hand and you will see,
That I was never your destiny!!

wishes

 why cant i just die
be released from this lie,
lie called as life...

I wish I'd never been,
never seen what I have seen,
never lived at all,
never felt my soul fall...

Why had I to be born,
to feel my soul torn,
to live though these fears,
to shed my endless tears...

I just wish to die,
get away from this lie,
lie called as life...

I Dont Understand

I don't understand why you're this way 
What did I do or what did I say 

We've been together for so long 
What did I do that was so wrong 

A kiss A tear 
It's your voice I want to hear 

We don't laugh any longer 
my hopes are weakening not getting stronger 

After all this time what do I do 
All I can say is "I LOVE YOU

hurt

I know I made our lives a mess,
because I'm such a jerk
I know I've caused you so much stress,
and now you think I'm dirt

I know I make the worst mistakes,
we both know that is true
I know right now I have the shakes,
it's my fault cause I hurt you

I know you think I can't improve,
my actions have said so much
I know you think it's time to move,
but I can't live without your touch

I know you want a better life,
that you think I can't provide
I know you want to be a wife,
and show the world your pride

I know I really need to prove,
how much for you I care
You know I wrote this poem for you,
Babe, this to you I swear

i know

I know you'll never love me, 
and that why I cried 
I'll never feel your hand in mine, 
or even hear your softly sigh. 
I know you'll never miss me, 
or even notice I'm gone. 
to me you're somebody, 
but to you I am nobody. 
I know you'll never cry for me, 
like the way I cried for you . 
I know you'll never want me, 
so what can I do ? 
I know you'll never think of me, 
I'll never cross your mind. 
you never had a thought of me, 
I'd always take the time. 
I know you'll never look for me, 
like that way I looked for you. 
each face you see is different , 
each girl I seen was you . 
I know you'll never lose your heart, 
like the way I lost mine. 
they say times the greats healer, 
but I have no time. 
I know you'll never love me, 
and that's why I cried. 
although my body is living, 
my heart is bound to die . 
I know you'll never love me, 
like I loved you

broken heart

I wake up each morning, Its like I'm in Hell. 

My mind races fast, who can I tell? 

I feel the pain, it will not subside, 

see deep down inside, it feels like I've died. 

A piece of me is missing, all I can see, 

is darkness and black, surrounding me. 

I have not forgotten, all of the pain, 

sometimes it feels like I'm going insane. 

I hold on to this love, so very tight 

I can't give up, can't let it out of my sight. 

I try to move on, I really do 

but I just can't, cause I still love you. 

Please love, open your eyes and see, 

No one can love you as much as me. 

I gave you my heart, my whole life, 

you took them both and became my wife. 

We promised to love, to have, to hold 

together forever, even after we're old. 

but you walked out, left me for dead, 

now all I have left, is a cold empty bed. 

I lay down each night, praying I might, 

wake up to my love, holding me tight. 

My broken heart speaks, its hurts so bad, 

my life goes on, I live but I am so dead

keira

Your smile so beautiful as the sun that shines through on a warm sunny day
With a simple flash of that sexy smile you take my breath away
And every time I see your face
smile remembering each loving embrace

Your eyes twinkle like the stars bright in the sky
Staring deep into caring eyes leaves no questions why
I loose myself in your en...trancing stare
I feel like to you my soul I could bare

Your intoxicating smell as sweet as a fully bloomed rose
Which is just one more reason why it is you that I have chose
Your familiar scent warms my heart
And will trigger fond memories if we ever have to part

Your voice is as calming as the ocean waves meeting the shore
Teaching me the meaning of feelings I never felt before
I could spend hours listening to you on here
Reaching a level we have only known

Someone Special

I remember the first day we made eye contact 
Because that's the day my life turned around 
I knew from that very moment 
True love is what I had found 

The way you looked in my eyes 
And flashed me your beautiful smile 
Told me from that very moment 
Your what I was looking for all the while 

The way that you make me feel inside 
Takes my every breath away 
I've never come across anyone like you 
That can leave me feeling this way 

You know I love you with every ounce of my heart 
And wouldn't want anything to ever change 
But no matter what ever happens 
I will always love you the same 

And I know there are things about me 
That I'm not really proud of 
But you look right through all the bad 
And still give me 100% of your love 

It's not often that anyone in the world 
Could find someone so special like you 
I am thankful everyday of my life 
To be blessed with someone so loving, and true 

It truly is a blessing to have you 
And to be able to share our love together 
Losing you can never be an option 
Because I want to spend my life with you forever

until you came

Until you came into my world,
there was nothing but darkness and gloom.
My world was missing the clouds and the sun,
and also the stars and the moon.
I never believed in magic,
but you just appeared from thin air.
I thought I would only be lonely in life,
but now I'm a complete a pair.
You make me who I am at this point,
mold me in every way.
There’s not a precious moment,
where I do not want to give you my entire day.
The passion between us is strong,
ferocious to those that see.
The feelings that are shared between us.
Me for you and you for me.

Death, My Friend

Death, my friend, you are always there,
from you, no one flee, you are everywhere,
still, I wonder, why you are never here...

Death, my friend, you release others from pain,
all those people, they get free, so many slain,
yet, I ask, why I am still here in vain...

Death, my friend, you everywhere see,
from you, just redemption, can I plea,
here I ask, come here, set me free.

end

I can feel the darkness around,
it's draining vitality from me...

Coldness slowly filling my body,
my vision is fading away...

Laugh, sick sadistic laugh,
that's the last thing I hear...

death

Death, you are my sweet love,
come and give me your cold embrace...

Wrap your icy arms around me,
hold me, kiss me till I die...

Let me feel your cold touch,
feel you, feel death of my flesh...

Release my soul from this agony,
give me freedom, let me die...

Epitaph

Under the sweetest flower,
in the garden of bones,
in deep, here I sleep.

On my ground, tears shower,
sorrow, bathing my tombstones,
for me, do not weep.

Chaos blooms

Stare the chaos, look it in the sky,
can you see that, see how clouds cry,
can you feel their sorrow, their pain,
share their sorrow, feel the rain...

Wildly raging chaos,
nothing dare to cross...

Bloody rain of the chaos, soaking,
on the ground it pours, flooding,
to go everywhere, rain of the chaos dared,
not even the darkest ground is spared...

Growth of the vine, rise of the roses,
wild, untamed, to the sky reaches...

See those blood red flowers,
ones that bathe in the blood showers,
see them soon start to bloom,
for others, they predict doom...

From the vines, demons nest,
woven, like the finest vest...

Fiends fangs, razor sharp, spreading the pain,
demons tearing the flesh, mortals just slain,
breaking the limbs, shedding blood in the drain,
for humans, their life was for vain...

Do not shelter in the fear,
it only will you spear...

Give up the life and just die,
death is the friend, don't be a shy,
scream, let out that final cry,
in the last moment, just ask, why...

Finally just rot, to the soil turn,
for your time, in the ground sojourn...

Life, chaos, from the underground just stare,
feed the roses, feed the vines, from them care,
next time, maybe, your life they spare,
inside the mother earth, death for a while wear..

Chaos and roses

Elixir of life, feeds the life,
shedding it, there is no strife...

Roses are always roses,
in that, not even chaos looses...

Crimson is soul of the roses,
no matter what the chaos chooses...

Roses, as fragile as they are,
only their lovers, that fragility scare...

That razor, deeper in your wrist sink,
in roses, more your soul it link...

Do not fear, thorns will not spear,
just be here, feel yourself dear...

I see distortion, demons are here,
I hunt them, I trap them in sphere...

Still, chaos is our mother,
and chaos is our father...

I look and see, love is there,
do you dare to interfere...

Chaos and death

There are no exceptions, not even roses,
in life, everything grow, wither and die...

Life is chaos, life is choices,
storms like chaos, can race on the sky...

From their remnants, roses back rise,
as always, from the death, life will grow...

Like phoenix, from the ashes, life arise,
so feed the life, let your blood just flow...

Slit the wrist, stare the mist, take a last breath,
death and chaos, those make everything nourish...

Pay the price, get your prize, embrace the death,
through the chaos and death, all will flourish...

the one that

Take my hand,
Drips of tears.
Lead me out of here.
Fear,
everywhere.

Tears continue to pour.
I start to fade away.
What was once Bright,
quickly turns Black.
My heart?
Beaten.
My eye?
Burn with tears.
My wrist?
What wrist?

My hope is gone,
done with.
It left when you did.
Now I'm waiting.
Waiting on something that will never come
someone who will never show.

slowly dying.
Slowly fading.
Bright goes to dark.
Light to black.
Happy to dead.
Smile to frown.

Me to nothing.
You to..
The one that killed me.

the final cut part 2

Life is such a beautiful thing we say.
To the artist, how can we ever repay?
Shall we be your toys, oh lord?
for you, shall we entertain?
Please pay us no heed lord,we thank you for your disdain.

You need not speak lord,we are not worthy of such attention.
Like loyal pets; we lick your hand,
even if it is the source of our infliction.
War, molestation, famine, and disease

only strengthen our faith in you.
How could someone not see this too?
We grovel at your feet lord, how dare they call you a fraud!
How dare they speak against thee! a kind and loving god.

Phantasm

You are not human;
you are a poltergeist
trapped in a meat suit.
Tea leave salves,
moonlight strolls,

these calm your restless spirit.
You possess a skeleton
but you are not made of bones.
Cartilage fades without you,
flesh slips away,
blood solidifies a corpse.

But on a rasping breath
you will leave it,
drifting from desert winds
to tropical typhoons.
You shall hear songs and whispers,
prayers and laments,
privy to the world’s secrets.

And a day may come
when a breeze carries you
through the hollows of
your abandoned crown
and you will rise from burial dirt,
a memory made to haunt the world.


crunch Goes Their Skull
Chase them round the town at night.
Their presence seems revolting.
Break their ankles with a hammer.
Then cave their skulls in.
Drag the body back down the road.
Avoiding other people.

If someone happens to see you though.
Then pop goes that weasel.
You may ask, what's the point?
Well I haven't damn clue.

The victims just seem out of place.
too many of them to count through.
You may think this a nonsense task.
Why are they revolting?
that doesn't matter, you've come this far.
There's no point in folding.

hide it
Where are the marks?
Where is the pain?
I see you smiling now,
But it's all the same.

You hide behind,
That mask you wear,
I wear one too,
It's beginning to tear.

Snide remarks,
And a hateful tone,
I feel so 'loved',
I'm all alone.

When the days stop coming,
And my soul is free,
Wherever you are,
Is where I want to be.

I don't know how,
Why or when,
I'm all caught up,
With you again.

Please let me go,
You're tearing me down.
I still love you,
When you come around.

Are you still living?
Oh my dear,
What are you leaving,
When you're done here?

Please put that down,
Your hurt enough.
I know living,
Isn't just rough.

We all have time,
But it ticks away
What will we do?
What will we say?

Where is your heart?
I've lost mine too,
I can't start over
But neither can you

at night

At night

At night I lay and think of you hoping my wishes and dreams come true

At night I wonder can this be the end is this all that's left

At night I wish we could go to the way things were

At night I lay and cry about the things that happened and how it all ended

At night I lay and think of us, I mean you and I

At night I realize there's no more us

At night I dream of us together again

At night I wish for us to be together again

But in the

morning I realize it was all

At Night

i want to fly with you

The night I met you in words only on a screen I knew I had to have you not only in my dreams! The words that we have shared have caused my heart to care At first I was a little frightened to share myself with you but you showed me ways to make my nights brighten You loved my body over and over again you took me to heaven and made me live again! I have come to want to devour you not just on this place but I want to touch your body and feel you near I want to hold you tightly not just in words but face to face: I want to pleasure you in all the ways we shared, I want to do things to you that others would only dare: I want to make our fantasies all come true for, babe, I want to fly with you.

My Love

Staring at a blank screen
waiting for your arrival
but you never come.
How could you leave me like this
alone in a world so cold
You told me you loved me with all your heart
I should have known from the very start
that our love would come to a bitter end.
I will remain waiting for you, though,
staring through my teary eyes
and hoping for an I.M. that will never come
knowing that I am just a figment from your past
and that this is really the end.

Full Heart, Empty Arms

Thoughts of you illuminate my spirit;

Never a flicker of flame, but with

Arching bolts which strike with a force

That disturbs my ability to focus.

My mind races as waves of passion flush over

My darken

skin, causing me to gaze upon visions

Of impossible romantic possibilities.

Pathetic is this guy who anticipates the

True rhythm of love, with a girl she will never hold.

My imagined discourse of thoughts leave me suffering,

As my lips quiver with the words I shall never speak

to her: "I have loved you more than anybody in this world."

the final cut

I am lost soul
No where to go
Darkness all around
Like the cuts on my skin
The blade sits before me mocking me
i need it i want it
i long to see my skin swell and bleed
i slowly take the blade
First cut will be my last
As i cut into my vein
My blood drips
i dont scream or cry
My Final Cut kills me tonight

trapped in black

I'm so alone, but there's no way back
If you can hear me, I'm trapped in the black
He came to see me, the uninvited guest
And with his scythe he crushed my chest
Then he mocked me with his slow hand clapping
As I lay there, my last breaths gasping

I fell from life to a place called dead
The lights went out, but my pneuma fled
If this is the norm I cannot tell
I'm not close to heaven, but near to hell
There's no ticking clock, no time to gauge
Is chronic isolation death's second stage?

I'm a fading picture of a random thought
A forgotten archive through which to sort
All that I am is an ethereal essence
A withering dream of a once real presence
And I'm so alone, but there's no way back
No one can hear me, I'm trapped in the black

All that I had went one by one
A last memory to purge and then I'll be gone
But it's him, with his slow hand clapping
And I'm lying there, my last breaths gasping
...clapping...gasping...the reaper is my keeper
...clapping...gasping...the reaper is my keeper

words of hope

One night on graveyard of the angels, I was walking,
that night I saw an angel, saw her crying,
her wings broken, torn, hurt, she was dying...

Angel, such an beauty, fallen from the heavens garden,
I watched her soul escape in the little tears,
to see her there, so deadly wounded, it was burden,
she was lost, fallen, dying, filled with fears...

She was lying on the cold white marble plate,
to help her I tried, but I was too late,
in the pool of blood, to die, was her fate...

Angel stared me, I heard her silent cries,
pale little form on pool of so red blood,
angel, so fragile thing with beautiful eyes,
in rage I cried, next who dies will be god...

I took angel on my arms, kissed, loved, hold her near,
gave my warmth, words of hope I whispered in her ear,
god will pay for this crime, my love, do not fear...